According to one source, at a recent luncheon for war veterans, just before he was to go on stage to deliver a speech, Obama farted! The more carefully you watch, the more clear it becomes how much Obama hates America! Of course the few remaining Obama supporters are frantically trying to defend him with some of the most absurd arguments you will ever hear. One Obama supporter summed up the sentiment, saying "farts happen -- this whole conversation is dumb". Of course they happen, but he obviously carefully timed the fart to say to those patiently waiting war heroes "this is what I think of you and your sacrifice."
Video and audio from the event, however, give no hint that he farted, and another source who was near him at the time says he did not see, hear, or smell Obama's fart. This all seems a little too suspicious. By all accounts, cole slaw and a three bean salad were a large portion of the lunch. Did Obama not even eat the food served at the event? Does he have a cure for flatulence that he won't tell us about? Maybe he's not even an American! Those are the least nefarious explanations I can think of -- it's almost certainly something much worse! Clearly, he's hiding something!
Obviously, whether or not he farted is completely beside the point, but it helps to illustrate how much Obama hates America. He cannot be trusted! We must remain vigilant!